Boredom

Boredom is all I have seen these days

It goes on and on and never ends

Days come and go with nothing new

All the same and news is few

Predictable my days have become

For they happen again and again all along

It is like I am stuck in time

Time passes but it is as if it does not

Time causes changes, but not for me

Same thing everyday is hell for me

Hell! Hell my life has become

I'd rather see it end than have it going on

I look for a cause to live, but none is there

Life without cause is death itself.

I was watching Two and a Half Men on TV. In that episode Charlie was writing a song about his evil mother. I made some changes and it is complete now ;)

Here we go:

"M" is for the misery that she caused
"O" is for the other things as well
"T" is for the traitor who's my brother
"H" is for the hippie that's his son
"E" is for the evil that she is
"R" is for the rifle in my mouth
Put them together and it's "mother"
But it's only half of what my feeling is

I Wish I Could Forget...

When I see her it is as if a dagger pierces my heart,
It is like that my whole world is on fire,
She is standing there in all her glory,
She is all, but just a memory to me.
How can I forget that she was once the one I loved?
That she loved me too, but today she has another in heart.
A stranger now I am, but one who has a past,
We loved each other so well we thought that it would last.
But she called it quits and left me all alone,
The one I thought would never go was there with me no more.
Now every time I see her all I feel is pain,
Those sweet times have passed, what has remained is pain,
Pain, pain and pain is all my past has become,
Forgetting is sweet, of which I am deprived.
I wish I could forget, but I just cannot
Damn you my past love
Pain you have become…

My Blue Essence of Writing

When I lost it
All was lost for me
It was blue and I was blue when I was left alone without it
All my days depended on it
I could no longer write without it
It was what made my writings possible
The essence of writing it was
My Staedtler mechanical pencil

I Remember [My First Love]

The waves and the wind slap me in the face to
Remind me of what a fool I was to fall for you
I came to you with my heart wide open
But you left me with one whose pieces are broken
A broken heart can be mended
BUT
The traces of those cracks are always there
To remind
Me of of an unfortunate past
The one not to forget
But one to last
I may fall in love again
But in fact, none will mend my heart and those cracks.
You left me with a bad taste of love in mouth so
I shall never fall in love again in truth
Cause I fear that I may lose him/her at once
And being left with broken pieces behind.
First love may come easy, but if it goes
Regret is what is left to deal with bruise.

Damn You...

You thought you made me feel good,
But you were only a tool.
Thought I was in love with you,
But I’m not such a fool.
You left me in loneliness saying all it was, is over,
That you and I could not make it,
It’s time to get it over.
Though not in love, we still could be friends,
But you showed your shitty colors and got the fuck away.
I was always honest, but that didn’t seem to suit you,
Honesty in relations? Not for an idiot like you.
Truth may sound bitter, but is better than the lies,
Lies did seem to make you happy,
Damn you! The lies make you happy?!
You were in love with me? How come that to be true?
You left me all on my own when I most needed you.
Betrayal is what you did, you dim-witted princess,
You never knew what love was though claimed it in your thesis.
Get real, bitch! This ain’t no fairy tale,
True love hurts , was it supposed to be easy anyway?!
It seems to me I was in love, I truly was a fool,
You played your game real nice,
I was a doll for you.
Fuck you! Wherever you are.
Though I may care for you still,
You left nothing, but pain with me.
Ruin is all you were,
Burn in the depths of hell!

Loneliness

There are many around me,
But it is like that there is none.
I feel so lonely,
I wish I was going to die.
Loneliness you loyal friend,
Never left my side.
I’m filled with emptiness,
Of which there is no escape.
I’ll be gone forever,
There is nowhere for me to stay.
Loneliness the pain,
But also the cure.